Postcard to Heart
by CheynotShy
Summary: A postcard and a phone call give Spencer something that he desperately needed since Maeve's death. Sequel to One Last Confession.


Spencer got Remy's phone number one day in the mail after his team had another close encounter with Nathaniel Essex. (They've tried so many times to catch him and so many times he slipped thair hands.) There had been no return address on the envelope, but he saw the familiar handwriting, the loops and swirls that couldn't be pointed towards anyone else but the mutant. Inside the envelope was a postcard showing the Niagara Falls in a scenic way that was meant to make tourists buy them. On the back was the continuation of the familiar handwriting with a short message to call or text whenever Spencer got this.

It caused him to smile, seeing the little xoxo besides Remy's signature. Somehow the mutant managed to be both corny and genuine with his gestures like this. It was almost the same way she w- he stopped himself in that thought, knowing where it would lead him.

Despite stopping the thought there was still the feelings of bitterness at losing her that rose up inside his chest. That she was lost needlessly to someone with an inferiority she could have even been standing next to him, reading the postcard and being charmed like he was. Absent-mindedly he noted the twitching of his fingers, the familiar move that only occurred when he was overwhelmed with emotions.

(On the quieter nights when he wasn't quite sad about her, just reminiscing, Spencer could imagine Maeve would encourage him to pursue something with Remy. That she would be happy that he found someone who made him just happy as she did. That she would be equally charmed by the mutant when he finally brought Remy home.

That they could have had something all together instead of being broken as Spencer felt some many times throughout the day.)

With a hand running through his hair and a tired escaping him, Spencer put down the postcard. He would visit it later when he didn't feel like he was going to burst from the jumble of feelings in his chest nor feel the urge to cry quietly on the floor near the couch.

—

It took only a few days later for him to pick the postcard up when he had returned home from another case with his phone in hand. It was an older model of a phone, closer to the flip phone that had suddenly become obsolete with the IPhones that had come out, the keyboard actually sliding out to be used. He has gotten some teasing from others in the team for using such dated technology since they had gotten the new products shortly they had come out.

(Garcia, however, swore she wouldn't have one as her work phone since word had gotten around on her many forums about them, so there was at least some solidarity there.)

He carefully entered the number that was written on the postcard and hesitantly pressed the button to make a call. As Spencer held the phone up to his ear, hearing the ring continue as it waited to be picked up, his heart pulse picking up at the thought that maybe Remy won't pick up. That he had sent the wrong number to Spencer on purpose.

That the meeting they had together hadn't meant much to the mutant as it did to him.

Spencer's breath caught in his throat when he heard a familiar voice say "_Hello?"_ over the line.

"Hello, Remy?" Spencer said, his voice filled with unsureness. "It's me, Spencer."

"Ah, lapin! I see you've gotten my number." There was excitement in Remy's voice that was soothing to Spencer's momentary anxiousness. "I was hoping you would call soon, I'd figured out when it would arrive when sending the postcard out."

"Was that after one of your missions to Niagra Falls?" Spencer asked teasingly.

There was a low chuckled from the other man. The sound made something in his chest feel a bit lighter, a bit brighter than what he had felt a few days ago. "Oui, it was lapin. Figured it would be one of the few places you hadn't seen with your job and wanted to give you a taste of it."

"A place for a date someday?" Spencer suggested, hoping the mutant would get his message. (Spelling it out like people were normally supposed to in these situations don't come easy for him, it always seemed like his words got caught in his throat and stayed there no matter how much he wanted to say them.)

A moment of quietness and then," Perhaps not as a first date since that would take too long. Do you have any suggestions down in Washington we could go to?"

"Of course," Spencer said softly," I can text you the details soon."

"After you finish a case?"

"I'd be too tired to do that Remy."

"But it would be the best time to snag you away from your team. Don't want you to be distracted on one of your cases because you had to cancel on me, lapin."

Spencer agreed with a sigh and somehow in his mind, he knew that Remy was smiling softly over the line. "I concur." He said softly.

"Don't sound so defeated," Remy said, voice equally as soft as Spencer's. "Just text me those details as soon as you can and I'll be there for our first date."

All Spencer could do was hum his affirmation and Remy once more chuckled, as if delighted by Spencer's very voice. "Don't pout, lapin, I know how much you want to see me. I feel the same. Just gotta do it when we can."

"I know, Remy. Just want to be wrapped up in your arms."

A pause. Then," There's something going on. Is it something you want to tell me over the phone or in-person?"

"In-person," Spencer said, voice cracking like it did when he was close to tears spilling over his face. (He didn't want to cry, didn't want Remy to think he was pathetic for still feeling torn up about Mauve despite having romantic feelings for the mutant.)

"Alright. Spencer?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to stay on the phone while you go to bed to sleep?"

A breath was taken in touched in ways that Spencer hadn't felt even with Mauve at what Remy was offering. The words he wanted to say stuck in his throat once more, desperate to get out, to steadily say that's what he wanted. Over the phone, he could feel the soft sounds of Remy breathing, not impatiently waiting for Spencer to give an answer.

With much struggle, Spencer forced himself to say yes. His voice cracked with the difficulty of forcing himself to speak and wanting to cry all at the same time. Remy in reply just told him to go to bed, to get some rest. He did as he was told, keeping the phone close by to hear the soft breaths of the mutant.

Once he was under the covers he brought the phone to his ear and said," Remy?"

"I'm here, lapin."

Breath got caught in his throat, so close to crying and yet didn't have the push to do so. "You can cry, Spencer. You can cry and I'll be here to talk afterwards if you want."

"Why? Why are you doing this?" His voice cracked, so close to spilling the tears he desperately wanted and didn't want.

"Because lapin, I know you need it. A little crying and sobbing never scared me away."

Those words were enough to make Spencer choke a sob, so desperate to keep it together. And yet, as more sobs crawled up his throat, some escaping and some being trapped there, his tears fell. They stained his face and the pillow, wet and filled with the emotions he was feeling in his chest. He put the phone a short distance away from him on the pillow, not wanting the mutant to get an earful of what seemed to be a well-needed breakdown.

As it continued on, as he let everything that he had bottled since Mauve's death since Alex had left the team, he had to wonder why Remy was being so kind. Of why he was gentle enough to take on the mess that was Spencer Reid. (Spencer knew his faults, knew what most of society found undesirable for a romantic partner was what he was as a person. It was all bullshit, ableism disguised as concern, he knew that, but it still hurt to know that fact.)

It was a while before his tears stopped and his sobs slowed down enough where it didn't hurt to take a breath. For a while, he laid in his bed, feeling the blanket wrapped around his body and the wet spots where he had cried into the pillow. He heard Remy's breathing through the phone speaker and it made him move his hand enough to move it next to his ear.

"Remy?"

"Oui, lapin?"

"Goodnight."

He could see the smile that must be on the mutant's face as Remy said," Goodnight to you, lapin. See you soon."

* * *

Um, this was supposed to be a cute little fic and instead turned this. I mean totally not complaining, but I just wanted these two to go on a first date lol. But rest assured when I knew the direction this was being taken by the characters, I was tearing up because I'm a sap and Spencer being sad makes me sad :(

Anyway, I do have another fic to do a first date for these two and I will do it without being sidetracked! But it'll probably be a while since I want to work on something else before I get around to it.

Hopefully, this was a fun little fic to read! :D


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